tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post7869744125184567574..comments2023-08-20T11:14:57.937+00:00Comments on Bisexuality and beyond: Telling it like it isSue Georgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04682934707338626061noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-24147387669599538062018-07-23T20:57:56.047+00:002018-07-23T20:57:56.047+00:00Michael Bailey is a pop psychologist not highly va...Michael Bailey is a pop psychologist not highly valued academically. Almost all his fame is due to make controversial claims on issues of sexuality. He is the sexological version of Richard Lynn.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-44150503044326801522011-09-18T17:49:15.474+00:002011-09-18T17:49:15.474+00:00I appreciate this post and have also found Bitehwa...I appreciate this post and have also found Bitehway's blog refreshingly honest and interesting. I am a straight woman and have been dating my bi boyfriend for two years now. He is not "out" to anyone other than me for all of the reasons you mentioned in this post. It is posts like this one that have made me understand his decision. While we continue to struggle all the time with the bounds of our relationship and what his being "bi" will mean for us, the important part has been total disclosure of past, present and future acts, wants, and needs. It allows us to evolve together as a couple and to face any new challenges keeping our relationship at the centre of it all. <br />Thanks again for your words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-76738068537207151082010-01-22T14:48:33.688+00:002010-01-22T14:48:33.688+00:00My sexuality is certainly something I would mentio...My sexuality is certainly something I would mention to any future potential romantic partners as early as it seemed appropriate. I've been through a bit of minor strife in the past as a result of not doing so... don't fancy that again!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-45772959925688589962009-12-30T23:07:53.649+00:002009-12-30T23:07:53.649+00:00I probably have to accept being that unusual, self...I probably have to accept being that unusual, selfreliant woman. I really, really like and prefer bi men because I am bi myself and find it almost impossible to navigate emotionally in a straight world. <br /><br />I've never had or will have sex with a woman, I will never come out, and understand perfectly why bi men will not come out. Being bi is like being an alien from another galaxy. <br /><br />I wonder if bi men somehow can be perceived socially as women and I think the threath of losing your gender identity would be a very effective control against coming out as bi.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-59795461687220006922009-12-28T23:29:59.871+00:002009-12-28T23:29:59.871+00:00Really great post, thanks!
As an openly bi man, I...Really great post, thanks!<br /><br />As an openly bi man, I find that my straight male friends repeatedly call me gay and talk to me as if I were gay, they look at me with something like disbelief whenever I talk about girls I like or have been involved with, and they dismiss what I've written and said on the subject. <br /><br />At first I thought they were just forgetful or didn't quite get it, but after some thought it really seems to me that they're kind of uncomfortable with my bisexuality - like I'm an aberration that needs to be put in a box - they're not comfortable with the ambiguity and they want to a simple 'us (straight men)' and 'them (gay men).' And they'd rather put me in the latter group, I suspect because it's less threatening.<br /><br />While my straight male friends suppress or deny my bisexuality, my gay friends make a big deal of it, they interrogate me and make okes about it - usually in a fairly good natured sort of way, but a number of gay men I know have expressed the opinion that I'm kidding myself, that it doesn't and cannot exist. It's my 'internalised homophobia' and me just 'working through my issues,' and they expect I'll be fully gay one day - despite the fact that I tried that and it just wasn't me. The queer girls I know have been better about it, on the whole.<br /><br />Straight girls seem to want to put me in the 'gay box' too, mostly, I guess it makes it less comlpicated. I suspect it's easier to simply dismiss me as a potential romantic interest than to wonder if I'm interested or if I'm just being a 'gal pal,' and I guess they think if I am interested that I'm not going to be a good prospect because I'll change my mind and start chasing boy tail. Some of them also seem to think that I'm just kidding myself, that bisexuality is just a state of denial.<br /><br />*sigh*liminalDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06621859737411962756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-33438571619882021102009-12-28T17:23:57.561+00:002009-12-28T17:23:57.561+00:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.bathmatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08828026417866333107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-21208793798048352262009-12-28T13:55:25.420+00:002009-12-28T13:55:25.420+00:00Ah, bitheway, I did say "tended to". The...Ah, bitheway, I did say "tended to". The problem with blog posts is that you can only write so much. <br /><br />Ideally, I think you should have dropped hints earlier, but you didn't - and as that seems to have been a hurdle you have overcome, why shouldn't your relationship have a chance?<br /><br />Bi people, of whatever gender, are all different and want different things - just like people of any sexual orientation. If you and your gf can talk things through, and if you both want the same sort of relationship, I don't see why you don't have as great a chance as anyone of making it work.<br /><br />Also, the study was about long-term relationships - very long term, 20 or 30 years. Such relationships are incredibly hard to maintain these days, whoever you are. Plus, that kind of independence I referred to is much more likely to come about over that time, rather than in the newish stage that your relationship is at.<br /><br />So don't stress too much about your relationship's future, any research, or my "advice". If my experience of observing relationships is anything to go by, what makes any of them work is: openness, yes definitely, but also tolerance, affection, committment, kindness and love.Sue Georgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04682934707338626061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-73856476199609068752009-12-28T11:37:40.718+00:002009-12-28T11:37:40.718+00:00Well I'm glad to have helped inspire someone e...Well I'm glad to have helped inspire someone else to write a piece. Though I'm not entirely sure what to make of your conclusion.<br /><br /><i>"Women in happy long-term relationships with bi men... tended to be unconventional, who didn’t rely on their partner for all their sense of self/companionship/money, and had their own goals and interests."</i><br /><br />On the face of your conclusions it would seem like I'm with the wrong woman. But it doesn't feel like I am. I love her and I want to be with her, what's more I think we have a long term future together.<br /><br />Also I couldn't really see myself being in a loving relationship with someone who didn't rely on me for companionship, emotional (and/or financial) support. Nor could I be with someone who had profoundly different goals and interests to me.<br /><br />Bi men like other men and women are looking for a soul-mate. I find it hard to reconcile that description of a bi-guy's dream woman with the notion of finding your soul-mate.<br /><br />Hate to be morose, but it sounds like you've just unearthed more bad news for bi-men.Bithewayhttp://www.bitheway.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-65637553225010311302009-12-28T07:23:16.965+00:002009-12-28T07:23:16.965+00:00Totally agree with you both. I think the situation...Totally agree with you both. I think the situation is something of a double edged sword. <br /><br />The representation of bisexual men is very negative so bisexual men don't feel comfortable standing up and being counted, and because they won't the representation continues to be negative.<br /><br />Being a 100% gay woman it's very unlikely that I would ever find myself in a relationship with a bisexual man, but if I was I wouldn't have an issue with it as long as I knew up front. I think the issue with men hiding it in relationships isn't always going to be the women / men will be uncomfortable with it when they "come out", it can be as much of a "why is he telling me now, is he having an affair..."Michellehttp://www.queeried.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30566857.post-37806638031052001012009-12-27T19:39:32.602+00:002009-12-27T19:39:32.602+00:00it so sad that bi men are portrayed as they are an...it so sad that bi men are portrayed as they are and that they feel pressured to be in the closet consequently.<br /><br />i definitely would prefer to date a bisexual, feminist, anti-racist/sexist, spiritual, caring, and intelligent (being) man.<br /><br />i think your advice hits right on the money - find an open minded, independent woman to be with so that you can be free to be you. that's my dream.mizztcasahttp://twitter.com/mizztcasanoreply@blogger.com